That's My Story

YOU DO NOT GET A SPECIAL “AMERICAN” PASS

Originally Published the Week of September 10, 2022 in Western Outdoor Publications

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a column about folks who come down to Baja, particularly here in La Paz, and ask me how to score drugs. 

The gist of my comments were generally:

1. I’m the wrong person to ask
2. You’re an idiot and
3. You’re an idiot

A couple of things happened this past week that had me shaking my head and compelled me to write more about the subject of breaking the law down here. 

If you don’t want to read any further, my advice is “DON’T DO IT.”

Not only is ignorance of the law not a defense, but this is NOT the U.S.  You are GUILTY until you prove your innocence and you do NOT get some special “pass” because you assert that you’re an American. 

On the contrary.  The fact you’re a foreigner will probably make you an even bigger mark. 

Everyone else is speeding, but you blow by the police officer in a rental car.  Or everyone else goes through the stop sign except you.

Locals walk down the street with open beer cans.  So, that means you can do the same and be loud and obnoxious.

There’s some tolerance for it.  But don’t count on it.  You won’t necessarily get pegged, but why chance it?

To further illustrate, I had a young gal, maybe 20-years-old come down with a fishing group a few days ago. While the group was eating at our Tailhunter restaurant, she pulled me aside.

She was a bit tipsy.  Not a lot, but she had that “slightly buzzed” vibe to her. It might have had something to do with the margarita she had in her hand.

Or it might have had something to do with her question.

“Jonathan, do you know where I can score some weed?”

I took a moment before I answered as I looked at her slightly glazed eyes.  Somehow, I still can’t believe when folks ask me questions like this. 

Am I just too old?  Have I lost tolerance for questions like this? Do I look like the cool old guy that has the answer to finding drugs?

It was a sincere question from her.

I gave her my standard answer.  No.  I don’t know. 

And also she should be very careful about trying to score weed or drugs of any kind here in Mexico.

For one, it’s illegal.

Moreso, like any city, there are bad people that can get her in trouble.  Also, there are narcs just waiting for tourists to go around asking just those kinds of questions. 

I wasn’t dismissive.  I tried not to be the condescending old guy.  I was just giving her some advice.  I didn’t want her to get in trouble.

I also told her that if she had brought anything down to quickly get rid of it.

And that’s when I got the lecture.  From a 20-year-old.  (I’m 65 years young.)

She started on telling me it was her “right and privilege” to be able to smoke weed or whatever else she wanted to do. 

She informed me she came from a state (it wasn’t California) where it was very liberal and easy to obtain marijuana so, by her logic, that should extend to Mexico.

…just because.

And she also told me, she had paid good money (actually her parents paid) to have a great vacation in Mexico, so she figured that included the ability to “fire up a joint” if she wanted.

Besides, ”This is Mexico, where you can do whatever you want, right?” she added.

Not sure what travel brochure she had been reading, but before I could get a contrary word in, she started in about how alcohol is a worse and more dangerous drug than marijuana…as she held up the margarita in her hand to illustrate her point.

And she told me that cigarettes are more dangerous, but legal, as well. (Was this a prepared speech?) Blah blah blah. 

I have neither the time, energy or inclination to debate.  Especially with an entitled “20-something” girl clearly-armed with information and in a defensive posture.

It wasn’t the time and place. At my age, I pick my battles carefully and the hills I want to die on.  I had said my piece.

Anyway…

Before I could say anything more, she disgustedly walked away from me to rejoin her group at the restaurant table.  Where she sulked and gave me “stink eye” for the rest of the meal.

That was several days ago and the group is still fishing and having a great time.  Including her parents .

But she hasn’t said a word to me since then.  Not a smile. Not a hello.

I ruined her vacation.

I’ve become my parents.  I’m a buzz-killing old man.

That’s my story!

Jonathan