YOU MIGHT FEEL A TICKLE…OR NOT!
Originally Published the Week of May 4, 2020 in Western Outdoor Publications
“OUCH!”
“HEY!”
I admit hearing my lovely wife squirming behind the closed door had me squirming and wincing myself. First, because no one likes to hear a loved one in distress or pain.
Secondly, it was because when she came out from behind that door, it was my turn to go back there.
We were there for our required Covid tests in order to fly back to the U.S. for a quick turn-around trip.
Since January 26th, the CDC and Biden Administration are requiring that everyone FLYING back into the U.S. from an international destination needed to have a Covid test. Further, it can’t be any older than 72 hours before the date of travel back into the U.S.
You need to have the test even if you have been vaccinated.
Many hotels in tourist-saturated areas like Cabo San Lucas have facilities to obtain the tests. Plus labs have sprouted up all over. Additionally, all the international Mexican Airports have testing labs to facilitate the tests.
Where we live in La Paz, the hotels do not have enough international tourism to warrant erecting labs or creating testing facilities or services. Therefore, my wife and I opted to go to one of the local labs.
So, there we were.
Nice clean little place that offered all kinds of lab services; blood tests; or pretty much anything diagnostic to poke and prod one’s body. As mentioned, lots of labs have popped up everywhere to administer the covid testing.
I didn’t have any trepidation. Figured it would be in-and-out-and done. I heard it was a 15-minute issue. Results in an hour. How bad could it be?
We had to show our i.d. and the expression-less lady behind the acrylic glass reception office with the mask took our info. Tap…tap…tap…typing stoically on the keyboard.
No expression. Reminded me of the one of the old nuns when I was in grade school. All business.
Of course…just before…I got whacked on the head with a ruler.
They told us that the test would take 15 minutes, but like most things, the paperwork part took “at least” 15 minutes by the indifferent receptionist.
A lady in a white lab coat came out. I was directed to take a seat. Jill was told to follow the lady in the lab coat behind a closed door.
At first I heard my wife giggling.
I grabbed a magazine and opened a page.
Then, I heard the giggles turn to groans…and a bit of agonized yelps.
That didn’t sound so good. My anxiety level took a couple of up-ticks.
More bad sounds and squirming.
Then Jill came out. She did not look happy. And I know she has a pretty high pain tolerance.
Before I could say anything to her, the lab-coat lady beckoned me into the room.
My turn.
I sat in the chair with a nervous laugh as she took out the long nasal swab. I tried to smile and I know my hands gripped the arm-rests of the chair. Based on what my wife went through, I prepared for the worst.
Here she goes…up my nose!
…and then she was done.
Just like that. Maybe 2 total seconds where she was actually WAAAY back there that were uncomfortable, but otherwise easy-shmeazy. I felt a little tickle.
We were done.
Got results in 30 minutes on our cellphone. Both negative.
As I found out later, just like anything else, folk re-act differently to the actual testing. I guess it also depends on who’s sticking that swab up your nasal passage too. But, I did feel really bad for Jill. Hours later, she said she could still feel it. I’ve heard that from others as well. It can hurt! Or not.
One friend has had the test 6 times for work related requirements. He works in a testing lab.
He told me 3 times it hurt enough to bring tears to his eyes. Three times, he felt almost nothing. All done by the same lab tech at his work.
He told me it had alot to do with the condition of nasal passages. Allergies, dry weather or a recent cold can inflame the nasal cavity. Previous nasal injuries can also produce scar tissue. Using a saline rinse before and after the test helps. So does putting some non-fragrance vaseline in your nose.
Anyway…for Jill and I…
Cost was 1000 pesos…$50 each.
Had we gone to the Cabo Airport, it’s a little different.
For one, give yourself an extra hour so you have enough time for the test. Keep in mind that there could be a line.
(The testing tent outside Cabo Airport)
However, according to one of our friends who took the airport test, “…the test was pretty easy. You walk in (take your luggage with you); scan your QR code with your phone to fill out the questionnaire; and you pay. “
“You are then led into a corridor to sit down, wait until someone sticks that swab down your nose, leave, and 30 minutes later, get an email on your results!”
Cost was about $40 and he said they accept credit cards and pesos, but no American dollars.
It’s also important to have functional cell service while at the testing site (airport WIFI doesn’t work) because when scanning the QR code, you go to a site that you need to fill out which includes an email address.
That’s where your results will be sent. There’s someone there to help with English or Spanish.
Bring your luggage back with you to the counter and show your results to get your boarding pass. You’ll also need to show your cellphone questionnaire before they let you up to the gates.
As this is a new thing, the airport can be a morass of frantic travelers wrestling with cellphone reception; figuring out where to go; filling out the forms, etc. However, there are numerous friendly and patience airport assistants all over the place being very helpful.
Off you go. No quarantine when you get back to the U.S. Hopefully, as things get better, they’ll eventually do away with the test requirments.
Until then, best to know what to expect.
That’s my story!
Jonathan
That's My Story 