Posts Tagged ‘parents’

You Can’t Go To the Buffet Dressed Like That!



Originally Published the Week of Oct. 25, 2017 in Western Outdoor Publications

I’ve gone through several stages in life where I thought that I had “come of age” or had “finally arrived.”  Maybe that’s happened to you.


In high school, I thought it was when I went to the prom with the homecoming queen.  A year later, it was the head cheerleader.  In college, I thought it was when I bought my first car.


Even later, I had finally arrived when a law firm hired me and I had my own secretary and a view of downtown Los Angeles from the 28th floor.  Living large!


But looking back now, I realize my milestone took place when I was on vacation with my dad many years later.  I was in my 30’s


He turned to me and said a bit sheepishly,


“Hey, Jon, can you spot me 200 bucks?  I didn’t bring enough money.”


A pause.  A little smirk on my face.  A cocked eyebrow.


“Whaddya mean, you didn’t bring enough money?”


“Well, y’know how it goes.”


He smiled innocently and shrugged.  Then he said the following three words…


“Payback is hell.”


And he just smiled a S-eating grin.


And that was the moment.  I point to that as my life-changing moment.


And in a nano-second, I flashed on all the times dad had “spotted me.”


Countless.  Priceless. What any dad does for his kid with a hand-out asking for a dime or quarter…and later in life for so much more.


Quarters and dimes for the arcade and those mechanical horses in front of the supermarket.  All the “loans” for junk and things I “desperately” needed growing up.


All the myriad of  times he fished into his pocket for some change or a few bucks or reluctantly pulled out his checkbook.  Or mom’s checkbook.


And now here we are on vacation together and he’s asking me to float him some cash.


“Sure dad.  Don’t spend it on anything foolish,” I joked.


We both grin. I’ve arrived.  How can I say no? He knows it.  He knows it’s OK to ask.


And life will never be the same…in a good way.


Dad’s not always going to pick up the dinner tab or “forgive” loans anymore.  I’ll be paying my own way… or for him now.  And that’s OK!  I’ve truly arrived.


And the roles have reversed.  I’m happy and proud to be able to spot him some bucks and secretly inside tickled as hell.  Payback isn’t hell.  Not being able to accommodate him would have been hell.


My dad forgot to bring enough cash?   Really?


I’ve written numerous articles about taking the family or kids out on vacation.  But what about taking your parents out on vacation?  Easier?  Harder?  Survivable?


In some ways, especially as they grow older, it’s a bit like having your kids with you.  You can’t just run off and leave them alone.


But, it’s not like you can leave them at hotel day-care either.  You can’t give mom and dad some buckets and a shovel and say, “Make some sandcastles” while you read a book.


You gotta keep a respectful eye on them.  They’re adults, not kids.  They’re your parents.  You can’t lead ‘em around like kids.


It’s more like you’re their wingman.  You have to be there.  But NOT be there at the same time.  It can be trying.  And frustrating.


They’re gonna forget stuff.


Like money.  Like credit cards.  Room keys.  Fishing licenses and passports.  Most importantly their medications!  Don’t let them forget or slack on their meds.


In fact, make it a point to bring extra meds for them in case they lose some; luggage gets misplaced or you’re delayed for a few days.  You don’t want to have to look for prescription medications in a foreign country.


By the same token, without saying so, they’re depending on you to not just watch OVER them.  You have to WATCH them.  There’s a difference.


Are they getting too tired?  Overheated?  Too much sun?


They may tell you stories about the time “back in the day” when they caught 100 zillion tuna in an hour or hike 20 miles, but now one fish in the hot blazing sun might be their limit.  A walk to the pool and back might be enough.


Be gracious.  No one likes being confronted with their frailties or mortality.

If you’re all doing an activity, make it “age appropriate.”  Just like your kids.  You might be into zip-lining and body surfing.  Your 80-year old parents, maybe not so much.


The biggest thing we encounter here is adult children not watching their parents to keep them hydrated.   Beers are fine, but water is essential.


They’re not going to be able to keep up with the youngsters and we’ve sent several seniors to the hospital over the years for dehydration and heat exhaustion.  Simply not drinking enough water.


Especially with seniors, once you get behind the 8-ball on hydration, the consequences can be very very serious.  Even critical.



And then, there are the awkward moments that will test your patience.  Just like when you were a kid.


“Where’s your jacket?  You have to take a jacket because you might catch a cold!


“You can’t go to dinner dressed in your fishing clothes.”


“You only brought one pair of what?”


“You lost your what? Where?”


“You’re only telling me this now?”


“If you’re going to be out past midnight would you please call or leave us a message so we don’t worry.”


“You don’t know how to send a text? We bought you that new smart phone!”  


Or the really awkward one…


“You want to bring your new boyfriend/ girlfriend on the trip with the family?”  And stay in the same room?”


Payback is hell.  Grit your teeth and smile.  Enjoy the time.  Some day you can torment your own kids in the circle of life.

That’s my story…

Jonathan signature



Jonathan Roldan has been writing the Baja Column in Western Outdoor News since 2004.  Along with his wife and fishing buddy, Jilly, they own and run the Tailhunter International Fishing Fleet in La Paz, Baja, Mexico  www.tailhunter-international.com.  They also run their Tailhunter Restaurant Bar on the famous La Paz malecon waterfront.  If you’d like to contact him directly, his e-mail is: jonathan@tailhunter.com

Or drop by the restaurant to say hi.  It’s right on the La Paz waterfront!


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