“GOING LOCAL”

Originally Published the Week of Oct. 26, 2010 in Western Outdoor News

With more gringos moving down here or spending an increasing amount of time here in Mexico, it really does take awhile to get into the nuances of life down here.  After 15 years, I’m learning things every day.

           

You know you’re going “local” if…

 

1.      There’s no such thing as too fast or too slow on the highway.

2.      There is nothing that can’t be fixed with duct tape.

3.      You stop asking for a lime in your beer (tourists drink lime with beer)

4.      No lime or salt with your tequila either!  (locals drink it straight up and a good tequila, like whiskey or brandy,  is sipped and savored…not slammed and yelling “Whooo-hooooo!”)

5.      Formal wear consists of wearing socks for men and a closed-toe shoe for women.  (few places or events have a dress code…but see the next one)

6.      You really don’t care to stay out in the sun that long (it’s darned hot out there…it’s more fun watching the tourists turn to lobsters!)

7.      Except for the swimming, you would never go shirtless.  It’s considered bad form. Tourists walk around with no shirts.  But it’s OK to roll your t-shirt up under your man boobs and show your belly sticking out!

8.      You no longer tan to impress your nieghbors back home.

9.      You can cuss like the best of them (and you know what each word actually means!)

10.  A “good day” means getting 2 of the 10 things done on your “to-do-list.”

11.  Being “stressed” is worrying about the 8 things that didn’t get done.  So stop worrying.

12.  You don’t care that your one of your car’s blinkers doesn’t work and you rarely use your blinkers anyway  (Might as well be like everyone else)

13.  You understand that it’s OK if your neighbor booms his banda music until all hours. Culturally he’s not rude.  He’s being polite by “sharing”  (this is true)

14.  You’ve learned to pop a beer using your belt buckle, teeth, screwdriver, car keys, fishing pliers.  (The true test!)

15.  You realize you eat about 90 percent of your food with your fingers and hands.  (And wipe them on your socks…if you’re wearing them!)

16.  Stop signs, crosswalks and most red lights are merely “suggestions” not rules! (You’re not breaking a law unless a cop sees you and does something about it).

17.  God invented ice cold water to drink and hot water for showers.  Take neither for granted!

18.  You realize that “manana” doesn’t alway mean tomorrow.  Sometimes it  means “probably never.”

19.  You let the tourists take the fish fillets because you know that the best parts are the head,  the collar and the belly meat for soup and the barbecue!

20.  There’s nothing a mid-day siesta can’t cure.

21.  Meals take a long time

22.  You don’t need a “winter wardrobe.”

23.  It’s OK to take the bus

24.  Spicy is relative…and a “state of mind.”

25.  The longer the line the better the taco.

26.  Subtitles on Mexico TV are the best way to learn handy phrases like, “I’m going to kick your, butt!” or “Stick it in your ear!”

27.  Falling in love with someone who only speaks Spanish is the fastest way to learn Spanish

28.  You know that beer bottles in Mexico have a return value.  Cans are cheaper.

29.  People aren’t defined by their job.  Family is more important.

30.  Culturally,  job title is more important than the job or the salary.

31.  You always carry toilet paper somewhere in your car

32.  You start your Sundays with menudo, birria or pazole soup, not pancakes and eggs

33.  Going to the shopping mall is considered a “big outting.”

34.  It’s OK if the mail doesn’t come today.  Sometimes it never comes at all…ever. 

35.  It’s impolite to use the word, “no.”  “Maybe tomorrow” or “Next time” is more socially acceptable even if you’re telling a white lie. Just realize that if someone says “Maybe tomorrow” , they might be really mean, “no.”

36.  Being vague in conversation is socially acceptable. The art of telling the story is the essence. “Getting to the point” of a story is sometimes bad manners and rude. 

37.  You never ever go to a party or dinner without bringing something

38.  A favor is a gift.   Asking for a favor in return is impolite. 

39.  Make a friend…take their photo and give them a copy.  Many people have rarely ever seen photos of themselves.  We take it for granted.

40.  We take it for granted, but most folks do not have e-mail, cell phones, Twitter, Facebook or cars. 

41.  7 day weekends are perfectly acceptable!

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Jonathan Roldan has been the Baja Editor for Western Outdoor News since 2004.  He lives with his wife Jill in La Paz, Mexico since 1996 where they own and run the Tailhunter International Sportfishing Fleet and the Tailhunter Restaurant & Bar on the historic La Paz waterfront.  www.tailhunter-international.com.   He can be reached directly via e-mail at riplipboy@tailhunter-international.com