If you hang around tourist areas, it's amazing some of the things that pass for "fact" if you do a little eavesdropping. It can be pretty amusing. The docks and beaches of Cabo San Lucas are ideal for a little fun!

YOU DON’T SAY!

(Things overheard from tourists!)

Originally Published the Week of June 22, 2010 in Western Outdoor News

You know…if you hang out on the docks or beaches where tourists gather long enough, you hear some really interesting and funny things from  folks.  You can’t help but eavesdrop, laugh and shake your head! 

Here’s a list of some things I’ve heard over the years.  And the most entertaining thing is that they are usually spoken with so much ” expert conviction” by the person saying it as he explains it to the others. Best part is the folks listening to these comments nodding like they totally understood and there had been a great revelation! 

“Really? ”

“You don’t say!”

 “I NEVER knew that!”

Imagine a guy in polyester shorts and black socks with black shoes or sandals talking. Tourist map in hand.  Camera around neck.  Faux-leather man-purse (murse)/fanny pack around the waist with “Members Only” on it.  Sometimes, just off the cruise ship or part of a tour group. He’s read all the tourist brochures so he’s the “authority” of the group. You get the idea. But you may not get the logic of some of these wacky statements:

1.  FROM THE FISHING EXPERT – Now THAT’s a fish-slaying machine!  Look at the “booms” on the back.  Those are for catching marlin and really big fish.  (He was pointing to the lifeboat davits on a small cruise ship)

2.  PANGAS vs. BONGOS – I hear that they catch fish in “BONGOS”. That’s what they call those small Mexican fishing boats.  The guys who captain Bongos are called  “Bongo-deros.”

3.  REAL AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD – We ate at  REAL Mexican restaurant where they had the BEST hamburger I have ever had!

4.  THEY USE DIFFERENT COWS – I would never eat a steak in Mexico.  Have you seen the skinny cows on the side of the road?  Eat the beef tacos instead.  The smaller chunks for tacos come from smaller cows.

5.  TRANSFORMATION – It’s OK to use ice cubes in your drinks, just don’t drink the water once the ice melts in your glass.   Once ice turns to water, it’s not safe. 

6.  IT’S LOGICAL – The reason you get tanned more quickly here in the Mexico is because it’s closer to the equator, not because it’s hotter.

7.  SO BEER IS MADE FROM…? – Mexican beer tastes better because they don’t use water to make Mexican beer since it never rains in Mexico.

8.  FROM EXPERIENCE – Tequila is made from dehydrated worms that live in blue agave trees.  That’s why some companies put a worm in the bottom of the bottle to remind you of the ingredients.  Drinking tequila with lime kills the bacteria that might be in it because lime has acid in it.

9.  TELL IT TO THE OFFICER –  In Mexico, it’s OK to drive faster than the speed limit because everyone is always late.  

10.  MANANA MANANA –  In Mexico, everyone drives slower because it’s OK to be late for everything.  No one is in a hurry.

11.  THEY ALL HAVE POINTY NOSES – Cabo San Lucas catches more swordfish than any place else in the world (don’t know the difference between sailfish, swordfish, marlin).

12.  GETS CROWDED WITH THE SALMON – Dorado are fish that swim up rivers in Canada then migrate to Mexico which is why they are such colorful fish.  In Canada they are only grey and silver.

13. WORLD HISTORY REVISED –  Baja California once use to be part of California, but the missionaries from Spain gave it back to the Aztecs who were then conquered by Columbus when he discovered the new world. 

14. SURIVIVAL OF THE FITTEST –  Marlin have long “noses” so that they can battle other marlin underwater for food and swim faster which fall off every year and grow back like deer antlers.

15. VACATION VALUE –  Vacation days are longer in Mexico because everyone moves at a slower pace

17.  SEE IF YOU FOLLOW THIS – Everyone speaks Spanish in Mexico because Mexico was once ruled by France until Pancho Villa liberated it for the Mexicans but gave California back to the United States.

18.  DAVY CROCKETT IS WINCING – Cinco de Mayo is when Mexico won the battle of the Alamo in Veracruz.

This is why I like to keep a little pad and paper always handy!

That’s my story!

Jonathan

Jonathan Roldan is the the regular columnist and co-Baja editor for Western Outdoor News.  He and his wife Jill have run the Tailhunter Fishing Fleet since the mid-90’s and own the Tailhunter Restaurant and FUBAR Cantina in La Paz.  www.tailhunter-international.com  He can be reached directly at riplipboy@tailhunter-international.com