That's My Story

THE (LITHIUM) LOAD WARRIOR

Originally published in Western Outdoor News the week of January 8, 2008

OK, for the first part of this column pull out your little violin and listen to me whine. Waaaaaaa…waaa…waaa…waaa…waaa…waaa…

I came back to the states for the holidays to see the family then flew back down here to Baja on Jan. 2nd the day AFTER New Year’s Day. Nothing like hitting the airport the day” holiday cheer” and “good will towards men” is officially is called off. Over. Done.

You know what I’m talking about. Grumpy. Grumpy. Grumpy.

Everyone bustling. Places to go! Airport is jammed. Scores of parents at the end of their tethers after visting granny with three kids in tow. Vacationers stacked with skis and other vacation paraphernalia. College kids headed back to school from winter break. Businessmen already back on the treadmill with ice-cold stares.

I am stuck in line with a bunch of orange-shirted fans from the Illinois University trying to convince themselves that they got “robbed” in the Rose Bowl by USC (Sorry folks…losing 49-17 isn’t robbery, it’s a mugging.) A British couple behind me kept going on and on about how skiing at Big Bear (ski resort just outside of Los Angeles) was nothing like the the Alps and how Europe knows how to take care of skiers! (What were they expecting at Big Bear? )

I go to the security gate which is always a lovely experience taking off my jacket, hat, watch, belt, pulling out my laptop, all while a long line of other grumpy people eyes me impatiently.

Everyone LOVES the shoe part. I happened be wearing high-top lace-up work boats. I take them off and pop them into that grey plasti-basket and PLOP! My white sock lands right in something cold and wet!

Liquids are prohibited, so someone had left their cup of coffee right there where no one…least of all me…had noticed it spilled and chilled. My left foot is in a pool of cold cream coffee. I now have a soaking cold sticky wet sock. Can you feel that? Some people don’t like spiders. I can’t stand soggy socks ‘tween my toes.

The unsympathetic TSA person says, “Hey, got a spare pair of socks?” Oh sure. Carry them all the time in my laptop bag. Do you know what it’s like to put a sticky cold soaking wet sock back into a lace-up shoe? (By the way, I’m also now holding up the line who could care less about my dilemma)

I limp off to the bathroom dangling belt, jacket, shoe-in-hand, with backpack and briefcase a disheveled mess to wring out my sock and try to dry it in the hand dryer. Itself another lovely image in a crowded public restroom. Bad start to my trip home. Waaa-waaa-waaa- waaaa….

So, peripherally, what does this have to do with Baja? Well, listen, I know we gotta protect our air space from terrorists and all so they take away our bottled water and cups of coffee (which you can buy on the OTHER side of the security gate); deadly shampoo; fishing line and duct tape; but here’s the latest.

This I also learned on the day I soaked my socks. As of January 1st, there’s one more thing you have to check off. The FAA is now taking moves to ban laptop and gadget lithium (rechargeable batteries) on planes.

Apparently, in the wake of “exploding batteries (what are they talking about?), it looks like you may have to listen to the screaming baby in the next seat because you can’t bring aboard your iPod. Got an important business meeting? Forget working on the Power Point presentation in the airport or on the plane.

And that expensive laptop? Yes, you’ll have to check it into your soft sided duffle luggage along with your digital camera. Oh, did I mention that your cell phone, Blackberry, and that new iPhone you got for Christmas also have lithium batteries? I have friends that would give up their first-born before parting with their cell phones.

Actually, the way the new rules are written, it currently only applies to spare batteries right now, but reading the actual rules is perplexing. Or maybe I have a small brain.

Go to: http://safetravel.dot.gov/whats_new_batteries.html and give it a read. As I read it, you are prohibited from putting spare batteries into your checked luggage. Carry them aboard. If the batteries are already installed in the device you’re cool. All is fine.

Except…here it comes.

You are limited to no more than “25 grams of lithium.” Total. And no device can have a lithium battery over 8 grams. Most cell phones and laptops have batteries under the limits. But take a look at the rest of the list of how to calculate “grams.”

Anyone keep a gram scale in the house? Last time I saw a gram scale I had long hair and a puka shell necklace and we were…well, that’s another story.

My office is mobile. I live in a place where back-up systems are necessary. I carry two cell-phones; a Blackberry; two laptops; two digital cameras; an iPod and…and…and…

Life’s too short to start the year with a wet sock and taking away my iPod and laptop at the beginning of the year. Waaa- waaa-waaa-waaa-waaaa….

Feliz Ano Nuevo, amigos!

That’s my story. If you ever want to reach me, my e-mail is riplipboy@aol.com.