That's My Story

JO! JO! JO! (HO! HO! HO!)

Originally published week of Dec. 4 in Western Outdoor News

My Mexican friends laughingly call me “El Burro Hawaiiano.” (The Hawaiian donkey) It’s because I’ve been known to bring so much gear back over the border for them that I am literally a beast of burden! Or, maybe they’re just calling me a jackass or donkey.

While most of you traveling to Baja have your ice chests stuffed with reels and beef jerky, jigs, freezer bags and fishing t-shirts, my huge white marine chest usually has parts for radios; a CD; a toy; repaired fishing reels; throw nets; and magazines. I usually get quite a smirk from the guys at customs whenever I fly into Mexico.

I was in the U.S. for Thanksgiving but am heading back to Baja shortly and my ice chest has so much chocolate candy stuffed into it that I’m gonna have one helluva mess on my hand if it gets stuck on the tarmac and melts!

Anyway, my point is that lately the “requests” I’m getting from my amigos has been changing lately and it’s a microcosmic reflection of the changes taking place in Baja. Especially with Christmas coming this is what my numerous phone calls sound like lately.

Your kids wants a what? He wants the “Smash Brothers” game for his Game Cube? Uh, what’s a Game Cube? Oh, sure. It’s a video game. Sorry, sure I knew that!

And you want me to bring a pair of small-sized Crocs? You mean those plastic Dutch boy designer shoes? And they have to be light blue. OK, sure I”ll see what I can find. Sure, you can pay me later (oh, right!).

What? See’s candy? Regular chocolate won’t work? Oh, it has to be See’s California Brittle. You liked the Almond Roca but your abuela (grandmother) prefer’s See’s chocolate. Sigh…OK.

Nike Air Jordan’s? You gotta be kidding. Size 10. Oh sure, I can go to the mall. I have nothing else to do. Do you know how expensive they are? Right. You’ll pay me in installments, but you must have them. The ones they sell in Mexico are fake? Who will know? Oh, you want real Air Jordan and they must have the Nike label on them. I’ll do my best to find them. Yes, the 2007 model not the 2006 model.

What the heck is an “EEEE-pod?” Oh, you mean an iPod. Those aren’t cheap. Will a Sanyo MP3 player work. Cost about 50 bucks. Oh, your daughter doesn’t know what a Sanyo is and it MUST be an Apple iPod. With headsets in white. You can afford to give me 100 dollars by December for it? It’s a little more expensive than that. But she must have it. I understand. OK, your wife will make me homemade tamales for a month…and light a candle at church for me. Right.

And a laptop computer. What? Now hold on. OK, you can wait until next time. Gee, thanks.

Whatever happened to the days of bringing down t-shirts and a box of candy canes and maybe a good kitchen knife for mama?

Con su permiso (excuse me), I have to load my sled…uh ice chest.

Jo! Jo! Jo! (Ho! Ho! Ho!) from Baja! Here comes Santa Claus.

That’s my story. If you ever want to reach me, my e-mail is riplipboy@aol.com.