That's My Story

WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY? – published Sept. 2005 – Western Outdoor News

Well, I survived the award ceremony last week. If you remember my column, I went all out and paid 35 pesos for a haircut and surprise…I got exactly what I paid for…a 35 peso haircut that I am still trying to hide.

I know this isn’t about fishing, but what I experienced at the event was certainly a great honor and getting awarded something special is certainly something that most of us Baja rats never get to see or experience. It’s something I’d like to share with you if you’ll indulge me for a bit. I really didn’t know what to expect. It was quite a rush that morning as I still had about 20 boats to get out in the early dark off the beach plus load up about a dozen clients into vans off to the airport. Then, with 15 minutes to spare, run off and shower and climb into something presentable.

Something “presentable” for me meant spending about a whole day running around town trying to find something other than the shorts, flip flops and fishing t-shirts everyone sees me in. What I thought would be easy turned into a 200 dollar mission to find stuff that fit and that wasn’t going to be too hot. Wow…Dockers slacks in Mexico cost about 60 bucks! A silk tie was over 30. There goes the budget. And because I’m short and would not have time for alternations, a pair of decent boots were topped off by the aforementioned bad-haircut. That’s what happens when you wait until the last minute.

Anyway, I was shuttled off to the civic center in La Paz. About 400 people were there as well as about 200 uniformed police officers and military standing at parade rest in the hot sun. I felt sorry for these guys having to listen to all the speeches (of which I barely understood anything so I nodded and smiled a lot) while standing at attention as it was over 100 degrees that day. Looking around, after all my shopping the previous day, I was the ONLY guy wearing a tie. I was the ONLY guy in long sleeves. Even the mayor, Sr. Victor Castro, El Presidente de La Paz, was in his “casual Friday best.” I guess it’s good to be king.

The band played. The bugles bugled and the drums beat. I loved watching the soldiers and police march. It’s a bit like a goose-step but rather funny and I couldn’t help grinning. Right leg up and out. And hold. Just like someone striding over a water puddle or navigating a yard full of dog poo and wondering when to put their foot down. They would hold it for a split second, then put it down in a very erratic march step. They played the Mexican National Anthem which by the number of people singing it is sure a lot easier to sing than our own difficult Star Spangled Banner. It also has a nice beat to it when all the tubas in the band are playing much like a good oompa tune you’d hear at October fest. I liked it. I can only imagine what Mexicans think when they hear, “Jose can you see?” from own national anthem.

I was seated at the main table with all the dignitaries. I was the only gringo and feeling pretty important because I heard them mention my name in one of the speeches and say something about me being from the United States. However, at one point the guy on my right, who reminded me of the Robert De Niro’s ex CIA character father-in-law in “Meet the Fokkers” leaned over and in Spanish whispered quizzically , “What are you doing here?” I said I was receiving an award for bringing business to the city. (pause) After several minutes, he leaned over again and said, “And just who are you, anyway?” (sigh) So much for being a big celebrity! As I found out later he was the former mayor and now acting head of central security. Just doing his job, no doubt.

Anyway after a lot of speeches, I got a nifty plaque and gratefully shook a lot of hands. Police officers came by to also shake my hand as well. All my friends in La Paz say my life will change now that I have been recognized by the mayor of the city. I just hope the cops remember me next time I get pulled over for running a stop sign. But I’m sure I’ll just get, “And who are you anyway?”

That’s my story…
Jonathan